i am too tired to properly talk to anyone. there are so many things i have to do, and i don't even allow myself the time to watch a film. paprika, the one they recommended. instead, i sit here and procrastinate because i really am tired. i worry about so many things every waking moment.
i have been worried about the issue of money (so so much), of planning the route for my japan trip. i need to study for my psychology test. i need to do my squats and calf raises and sit ups and planks and push ups and HIITs, but i fail to do them daily. i'm so tired that i don't feel like meeting or talking to anyone for the next week, even though i kind of do fine when i'm with them. everything sets in when i sink in, uncomfortably, into the chair.
i haven't been playing music, or listening to music. i haven't been doing anything i like. i've been working towards achieving goals, and when these numerous goals pile up into a mountain, the joy gets sucked out.
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I don't think people can tell. A customer I was serving thanked me for my very friendly service and talked to me afterwards. He asked me to never 'lose that streak in (me)'. Me? Outgoing? Nah. I just want to curl up on my bed and FINISH PLANNING FOR THE TRIP AND GET TO STUDYING. FOR REAL.
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and this is my life right now: doing things that will be good for me.
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pardon my rants.
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